#so yeah I guess that can be your ramble tumblr no one is really gonna read these but it'll be silly

[mbirnsings-71]

I know way too many things but not enough to where it feels like I can just randomly infodump on Tumblr unless it's something very specific like Fandom Stuff and even then I'm not infodumping fandom stuff unless it's to my friends who have never consumed the media before because there's pure Joy that comes with me getting to be the one that shares a new thing with them it's so fun!!

[seventh-district]

my sincerest apologies to anyone who’s messages, comments, etc. that i haven’t replied to yet. i’m just so terribly stressed and busy irl that i’ve barely even been online at all for the past week and at this point i can’t make any promises about when i can update things or reply to things but just. know that i’m trying my absolute best and lowkey running myself into the ground over here and i know it’s probably not obvious and it sounds like an excuse cause i don’t seem like a busy person but there’s a lot of things that happen in my life that i can’t/don’t/shouldn’t/won’t talk about and i really am just. so overwhelmed from it all that i can’t have the consistent online presence i’d like to have. i’m sorry.

i will get back to any comments or messages on all my various platforms as soon as i can. i promise. i just don’t know when “soon” is at this point.

[mochinon-yah]

How would you describe your friend's art/writing? (E.g.: scenario, food, memory, etc.)

OMGGG ANON THANK YOUUU LET ME SMOOCH U RNNN <3333

But i'm gonna twist the question a bit since i haven't read everyone's work so yeah 🥹 i'm gonna describe the way they talk or how they 'feel' like to me lolll

@beloved-brynn: (<- my dear sweet hallow) whenever brynn is talking about something, it could either be the most mindblowing thing ever or the funniest thing ever 😭 i love her sm (platonically) since she's my first ever mutual and the first ever person to just... kinda welcome me to tumblr (i can hesr her in the distance saying smth smth abt i traumatized her despite the warm welcome- /silly) also she's good at giving advices! She's somebody who would cofmort you in an objective but warm way while also try to joke around so you won't feel like you're being nagged at (good grief, i cried more while she did that lol) ALSO A SIMP FOR DIMITRIII ‼️‼️

@meimeimeirin: tbh rin's writing or way of speaking is so so uniquely her that even if she tried to mask it up, i could guess that it's her 😆 she's an amazing mutual that i have no clue how the heck did we even be friends and be close like this??? Is it the same thing like how me and brynn get close- i gave you a drawing- anyway, she has a very elegant way of doing things, and especially when she starts to ramble or write about something that she loves! It's always so lovely reading her posts <3 btw rin, keep a chicken head with you always, yeah? 😋

@leftdestiny-posts: NOW THIS IS AN ENIGMA BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE HOW DID WE ACTUALLY BECOME MOOTS????? Shiro, did u just somehow in someway adopt me- 😭 but anywayyyy, shiro's way of talking is so so so soft and cute and warm and it makes me wonder how the heck did they mask their craziness so good like that- /smacked sorry sorry, enough jokes, what i meant to say is that shiro is such a down to earth person, and honestly i could see them go "wah, the clouds are really pretty today~ the flowers too~~" their writing or talking style has that vibe to me! It's so warm and fuzzy to me 🫠 i feel so comfy with themm 💗💗

@a-bookworms-teashop: i took a liking to one of her series and ever since then, i am a fan of her works!! I like to leave comments and just yk... support her works! Suddenly, bam! She dm'ed me or smth and we just kinda talk 😆 i love when she goes to ramble about her works because it shows how much love and effort she pours into each and every one of them!!! Im still waiting for an update to that series hiks but in any case, her other works sre also a masterpiece! Example? The yandere ceo one! It's so interesting and honestly bae, i would read every chapters 😻 i mean i already did, but eh YEAH READ EM GUYS!!!

@jessamine-rose: bae jess, ur works are amazing pookie, i once read one of ur work before eventually falling in love with how u write but i forgot which one was it... (it was a long time ago) was it abt capitano...? I'M SORRY I FORGOT HDBSHSJSJ 😭😭😭 but anyway, jess has the mom vibe that it always made me think of those asian moms (I'M ASIAN- THE TRAUMA IS THERE- /silly) who would hit their kids with sandals and be "i told you don't be like that!" >:o also her way of speaking and the amount of kaomojis she used is so so her that i would just imagine her every time i see one of those kaomojis 😆💗 please keep using em, i love ittt <333

@harmonysanreads: i simp for u. Yes, you read that right, my friends... I SIMP FOR HARMYYYY (shoo shoo eun- /silly) 😻💗 harmy has a very distinctive vibe and personality despite being similar to rinrin, and uhh how do i describe it...? It's like talking with a mom figure (no harm, i don't see u as a mom figure-) who knows you so well!! Her way of talking is so elegant, but it's not the warm-like elegant! It's like seeing a queen (?) and you can't help but to be mesmerized by her mannerisms! I also love the way she can form her words, they're always so thoughtful and really straightforward in a way lolll (she's my argue buddy too- anyway prince hirang 👎 /silly)

@navxry: NAVI ACTS LIKE THE MOM FRIEND!! Not really the mom mom friend, but navi is our server mom 💗 they take care of us and sometimes pop in and say either the most horrendous down bad thing ever for female game characters (while im like "oh yeah so true lmao" but i don't usually pop in and say that) or they'll help us around the server because apparently most some of us are not pretty... tech-savvy (me included HAHAHHA) navi is such a mood sometimes and i absolutely love them for ittt 🫶 u go girl (/gn) be as silly as you wsnt for your fics, or in other words, kill em all- *cough* i mean what

@calxlu: a fellow infp who really loves albedo 😆 i love when one time i made a bedo art for them and they reblogged it so many times,,, it made me super happy and super proud that the art made them that happy 💗 anyway, vivi talks similarly like me methinks but like ummm how do i say it? Vivi is like cuter...???? IDKK HAHAHAJDJ- um, moving on 😆 i love it when vivi describes or tell smth because it could either be the most cutest thing ever or the funniest thing ever (i still remember that grandma comment pls 😭) anywayyy i hope your life has been less stressful!!! Also will be hoping that ppl won't bother you especially when you don't want to get bothered 🫂

@teabutmakeitazure: ZURIII MY BELOVED 🙌 HELLO HI <333 muach muach i hope you're doing well when you read this post /gen /pos !!! When zuri comes in the server and say smth, i will always imagine someone wesring a glasses, talking in such a monotone voice but tries to appear caring and sweet because YES they are actually really sweet and very much loveable and smoochable <3 it's just how you 'feel' like to me, so don't mind em too much loll 😆💗 also, i see that zuri and speckled can match each other vibe so well and it makes me think that they'll be such a great and cute duo together sbsnsjkssk

@vennnnn-diagram: VENNNNN OMG MY PARTNER IN CRIME 😻💗‼️ (<- we never did any crime other than bully brynn... i think-) ven is so funny and chaotic that it makes me wanna smooch em every time they appear <3 how do i explain this... uhhh, like ven always seems to be the silliest person ever whenever they talk in the server, but GUYS they're like really thoughtful and so overall nshdjisks i can't describe it but i will fight anyone who diss or insult ven /hj kinda srs actually ✨️ ven, if u think that being silly feels weird out of nowhere, bae we're all weird, so dw abt it 😆 im also very silly, so we can be silly together!!! ALSO ONE IMPORTANT FACT, ven is our music genius 🙌‼️ i'm so serious abt wanting to hear ur music for an hour straight-

@stickyspeckledlight: speckled...... well, uh, the word 'silly', 'random', "what in the world-" as a person fr 😆 i also just kinda deem her as the gamer pro in our server and well.... i gotta say she's real good when gaming (<- has never seen her gaming stream) BUT LIKE WHATEVER THOSE GAME TERM STUFF, SPECKLED KNOWS IT ALL ‼️‼️ like whenever she said oh this and that about hsr or genshin, i'd be "oh yeah so true" despite me not understanding her words (sorry yall i'm not a gamer 😭) alsoooo it's pretty noticeable, but uhh speckled (and zuri) is aventurine lover and she's pretty crazy abt him *cues me looking at her fics* keep going bestie 🙌 you (and zuri) are our aventurine truther lol

@ainescribe: AINE MY SPOUSE ✨️ THE LOVE OF MY LIFE /pos 💗💗 ainneee, one of our talented super amazing artists in the hostelry 😻 thought despite me saying that aine is the loml, we haven't talk or interact much, but i know that she's a sweetheart hehe 🫶 aine has a very bubbly way of talking, she likes to yap yap like eun especially if it's about.... uh lores? Idrk the kind of stuff that aine likes to talk about, but it's always fun to hear her (and eun) yap ‼️ also, i can't describe it but she makes me wanna smooch her but also nom her (it's just cuteness aggression-) ALSO I HAVE TO SAY IT AGAINNN, HER ARTS ARE REALLY PRETTYYY 💗🙌 LIKE 100/10 PRETTY ✨️

@lucienbarkbark: girl, idk what goes on in your mind but you're a mood 😆 i am always so surprised whenever rika appears and say something, it's too straightforward but i love her for it <333 she seems like someone who would just do whatever she wants, and i would totally support her for it 💪 rika and her... 66 or more men that she would (respectfully saying) sleep with 🔥🔥🔥 HAHAHHAH THE LIST IS SO LONG AND LIKE 😭😭 i can never not laugh whenever i remember it hdjdjsjwkw pls never change your frank and honest attitude, i love it 🫶 btw, uh, pls have some rest bestie 😭 like an actual rest and also a mental rest 🫂 wishing the best for you rikaaaa >:o

@mixed-kester: esther! While i may not know much about you, but i KNOW one thing!!! It's that she's a really great artist 😻 i'm telling yall to check her arts because (from my opinion) her art style looks like one you would find in a cute short comic (that i would totally devour-) AND YEAH she's just really sweet yk 🥺 also esther talks in a very direct way that it makes you want to just know what's up inside that head of hers 😆 she's also part of the 'would eat mochi 😋' gang and i just.... have to accept that....... anyway LOVE HER 💗‼️ please be more braver and accepting of your feelings, you're precious and worth it, okay? We love you, and i hope sincerely that YOU love YOURSELF 🙌

@euniveve: OHOHOHO OUR RESUME DESTROYER HERE /silly ✨️ jokes aside, i think me, jess, and shiro would say "what can't eun do atp" if we're talking about eun 😭😭 wdym she can write amazing fanfics, great artist, good at debating, a highschool athlete, a student council president- LIKE EUN WHAT THE HECK DID YOU NOT DO???? Is it the intj in you- /silly LMAO anyway, all that aside, eun talks in a very pookie way, so full of.... love (especially if she's talking with harmy) and she would totally yap yap abt smth altho sometimes she's a bit direct about stuff (not in a harsh way tho) all in all, i hope you're not too harsh on yourself 💗 OH AND i love how confident you are!! You know that you're amazing, and i think that's great pookie 🫶

@fishanonishere: FISHHHHH 🫂 the 'albedo' in my life LMAOOOO 😭 they're so cute i wanna smooch them fr ✨️ they like to yap about their works and honestly yap more bestie (I HAVEN'T ANSWERED THEIR DM IN DISCORD BUT YEAH YAP MORE BESTIE 😭😭) they have a distinct way of talking and it's hard for me to describe it, but imagine albedo talking with such an interest while also keeping it low with how monotonous his face is and you're a bit confused whether he's excited or chill with it 😆 fish is also an amazing artist, their art style is very very 😋💗 yeah i'd eat all of em HAHAHAHA anyway fishhh, i hope you keep being 'you'!! It's always fun talking to you, but i think my energy is just not that big enough for us to keep talking for so long 😭🙏

[dr-spectre]

man i saw your last two posts and i wanted to tell you, you're not cringe, and you're not unlovable

i've had like, one full conversation with you going back and forth on both shared and unshared interests and it had a profound effect on me at the time

I need to unlearn shame, i need to be more open with what i fixate on and what i'm doing (and also the realization i'm definitely on some kind of spectrum), from one chat with someone *loud and proud* like you, how fucking crazy is that?

I hardly know you personally, but it's not hard to gauge how awesome you are, in face of your perceived faults, several of which i share myself, you yap so much but you're so genuine and passionate i and pretty much everyone who sticks here loves to read it, it never gets old, it never gets annoying

you put your whole pussy into innocuous little things about the subject matter, and it's a wonderful thing

you can find friends, you can find love, and you deserve both of those things

this is a little long but it's sentiments i've had for awhile now but no good opportunity to share......

I.... I..... WHA.

WHAT DO I EVEN SAY TO THIS?!?!?! YOU CAN'T DROP THIS IN MY INBOX LIKE THAT!!!

LISTEN... ITS JUST.... I aint awesome!!! Im some 20 year old autistic dude who's too obsessed with a squid woman! How's that awesome!!?!?!? I haven't made an impact on anything... not on the community... not on inkipedia... not on anyone... I have 300 followers... that's nothing...

...or have i?!?! There's no way I could have had an impact on someone... hell even SEVERAL PEOPLE! I just overanalyse stuff that seems so cut and dry but... people are actually positive about my stuff? People say to me that I changed the way they see this important character to me.... BUT THERE'S NO WAY RIGHT?!?!? I still feel like a drop in the ocean. Just a spec of dust!!! I haven't made real change yet... OR HAVE I?! I DON'T KNOW!!! WAAAHHHH!!!

Maybe.... maybe if I have changed one person's perspective, then maybe it was worth it in the first place...

You know. I wanna say that the reason I came to tumblr was because my irl friends aren't into Splatoon and my family gives me a meh shoulder shrug to my interest. It was so difficult for me to explain Splatoon to my parents when Splatoon 3 came out and I picked up the game at launch! So I went here because I felt like it was the best place to express myself. And yeah I'm glad I stuck with it honestly.

I get why my irl friends aren't into Splatoon, they need to buy a multi hundred dollar console that's about to get replaced soon just to play 2 games. And trying to explain to them Nintendo Wii U and Switch emulation is just... I dont even wanna attempt that HAHAHAHA!!!! So I often felt lonely and it felt like I was screaming into a void when talking about Splatoon to them in a discord server. I guess that's where my sense of loneliness comes from.....

I genuinely have NO ONE in real life to talk to about my interests and have someone ACTUALLY listen. I guess that's why I feel cringe and not cool at all. My interests are so nerdy and I'm on the spectrum, my social skills are like D tier. I genuinely cannot talk about myself, i really cant. Its why i have never been in a romantic relationship before.... As a 20 year old dude, that shit fucking stings I'm not even gonna lie. I think about that shit every day. LITERALLY EVERY DAY I'M NOT LYING!!!!

But anyways, I'm getting way too personal on the internet. I don't wanna be some sad sap.

Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I'm not sure if I truly feel like I deserve love but. Thank you anyways. I guess it is a good quality to have that I can ramble and yap and become really focused on something, even if it's not adult things like... getting a job, paying taxes or whatever HAHAHAHA!

[waitingandwishing]

(Cross posted on tumblr and AO3)

Prev - Next Chapter

“Hey, the moon’s out.” Five said. Y/N looked up with a smile.

“Yeah…” Y/N smiled, she always loved how the moon shined brightly. She remembered sitting on the rooftop of the mansion with Five, staring and looking out at the stars and moon.

“You always like the moon, didn’t you?” Five asked and Y/N nodded.

“You remember?”

“Never forgot.” Five said, not looking at her, “It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” Y/N said, staring at Five before looking back, “It really is… How’d you remember that after everything you’ve been through, anyways?”

“Well…”

․ · ․ • ° º The Wisp º ° • ․ · ․

“You’re not supposed to be up here.” Five said as he found Y/N sitting on the ledge of the Umbrella Academy Mansion’s roof.

Y/N turned her head to see Five with a slight smile, “You couldn’t sleep either?” She asked, ignoring Five’s comment.

He reluctantly sat next to her as they both saw the moon glowing brightly through the night. It was a wonder that they could see it clearly considering the city lights were brighter than the stars.

“I was gonna come to your room since you promised you’d help me with some stuff.” Five admitted, “But I couldn’t find you and you’re always daydreaming up here.”

“I don’t daydream.” Y/N said as she tilted her head to get a better angle of the moon. Five watched her intently before turning his head to see the planet in the night sky.

“Why do you like the moon so much anyways? I always thought you liked sunsets better.” Five said. Y/N turned to look at Five.

“Nah, the sun is pretty. But everyone likes it and it always stays the same. The moon changes every night which makes it interesting to look at.” Y/N smiled, “And the moon always lights up the dark.”

Five looked at Y/N, “That’s poetic. What book did you get that from?” He asked with a teasing smile. Y/N shoved him lightly.

“I didn’t.” Y/N stuck her tongue out at him, “I just… It was the first thing that came to mind. And it always helps me sleep when I’m up here.”

Five nodded, “The breeze is nice. And I guess the moon sort of lights the roof up so you can see.” He admitted.

“See? The moon isn’t that bad.”

“I never said it was bad in the first place.”

“Oh shut up, smartass.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

The duo sat in the soft glow of the moon, bathing in its cool and ethereal light before Y/N placed her head on Five’s shoulder. He looked to see her sleeping peacefully.

He hesitantly snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. He just didn’t want her to fall and they were on the edge of the roof, that was all! Five laid his head on hers as they both sat there.

․ · ․ • ° º The Wisp º ° • ․ · ․

“You remember all that?” Y/N teased with a smile. Five rolled his eyes.

“Well, it’s not like there was anything else to do except for reminisce about my life.” Five said. Y/N nodded and stared up back with glazed eyes. Five stared at the sparkle in her eyes before turning back to the light in the sky with a smile.

‘The sky had miraculously cleared up after the past years and the stars were beautiful looking. Especially the shooting star that Five had spotted. “Nice eye, Five. What’re you wishing for?” She asked him. Five had stared at her with a dreamy look. “One life spent with you is all I could ever wish for, Y/N.” He remembered saying.’

It was morning and Lance was taking his dog for a walk before going to work. They jumped into his car. Five in the front seat beside him and Y/N in the back behind him. "Oh, Jesus!" He yelled and jumped when he saw Five.

"Remember us?" Y/N asked, leaning forward between the seats. She pulled out her pocket knife and pushed it to his throat. He forced his head back against the seat, if he moved it an inch his neck would be sliced open.

Five leaned into him. "One chance. That's all you've got. One chance to tell us what exactly is going on in that lab."

Lance panicked and started rambling. "I- I manufacture prosthetic devices for fake patients. I bill the insurance companies and then send them for cash on the black market."

"Including eyeballs?" Five questions.

"Yeah they're my biggest seller." Lance said. "I mean, they sell like hotcakes-"

"We don't need the exact numbers Lance," Y/N said. "Just tell us if you've sold our eye and who to."

"In regards to that eyeball, yes, it could have been bought. But- but it would have been off the books. No records other than my list, I mean I've got about twenty on it just today-"

"So let's go get that list." Five said, holding the knife closer.

Lance whimpered. "Okay." He said and Y/N thought he was crying. She slightly felt pity. Slightly.

"Names and numbers." Five added. "Now!"

"Okay, okay. I'll get whatever you want." He stammered. "But, the only copies at the lab. In my safe."

"Then I guess we're going to your lab.” Y/N said, taking her knife off of his throat.

"Okay." Lance whispered. He glanced back at Y/N and she waved, knife in hand. Lance did his seat belt as Five pressured him to hurry up.

They parked down the road and made our way towards the lab. Until they saw the smoke. Y/N and Five exchanged looks before he ran off. She called after him but he didn't stop.

Y/N looked at Lance. "Don't go anywhere." She told him before going after Five.

Soon she saw the whole building was up in flames, glasses smashing, people screaming, sirens and alarms blaring from inside. Then, with no warning, the place blew. "FIVE!" Y/N ran faster. The exploration had thrown him sky high before he was engulfed in smoke. When it cleared, she saw him lying on his side amongst the rubble.

Y/N ran to his side and knelt down, shaking his shoulder. "Five? Five, can you hear me?!" She asked. Groaning, Five sat up. Y/N sighed with relief and sat down beside him. She helped him sit up and looked him over for anything life threatening.

Police sirens were blaring around them as people and policemen were beginning to gather around. Y/N touched Fives arm and crouched down. "Five, we gotta go." She helped him to his feet and let him lean on her as we left the crime scene.

"What happened?" Lance asked as they approached him. "Hey, what happened to the lab? Was it you?"

"Lance, you say anything and my crazy family will come after you." Y/N said to him. Lance nodded and let us go.

"You know what I think?" Five asked Y/N as they walked away.

"What?"

He started to pull away, seemingly recovered from the explosion. "We are way too sober for this shit." Five said.

Y/N looked at him and smiled, shaking her head. "I don't drink, but I'll share with ya."

"I'm gonna grab Delores then let's go." He said, jumping.

Five jumped the two of them into a liquor store and stole a bottle of vodka. They sat on a street corner, drinking straight from the bottle. At that point, Five started going on his rants, this time about the apocalypse.

Y/N dragged him to a nearby library and they both sat down. He also kept talking to Delores, which was weird, especially considering she seemed to talk back to him at least.

"Hey, Five." Y/N tapped on his shoulder. He cleared his throat and turned, leaning on her. "We should really go back to the academy now."

"Who're you?" Five asked, his voice hoarse.

"It's Y/N," She said. He buried his head into her neck.

"Hey, Y/N." he muttered. She chuckled before pushing him off of her gently and having him lay on the mannequin.

"How about you… Uh… Just hang out here." She said, "Maybe we should get back to the academy soon, Five."

"No… Just stay here with me…" Five said, taking her hand with a smile. A genuine smile. "Please?"

"Five, you're hopelessly drunk right now…" She frowned as he put her hand to his cheek.

"You're warm." He whispered, still holding her hand before he collapsed onto her lap with Delores still in his arms. Y/N sighed before picking up her book and starting to read.

Y/N suddenly heard footsteps and saw Diego and Luther. “Wow. Not something I expected to see.” Diego said as he saw the scene. Five was toppled over Y/N as she was reading a book.

She looked up, “Oh yay. Backup, now, get Five off of me please.” Y/N smiled, “My legs are falling asleep.”

Luther picked Five up as he muttered protests and the three of them walked out of the mall and into an alleyway.

“You know what’s funny.” Five said as he burped, “Aah! I’m going through puberty. Twice.” Five chuckled as he held onto Y/N’s hand. “Where’s she?”

“She?” Diego looked to Five, “The mannequins right there.”

“Where’s Y/N?” Five muttered and Y/N sighed.

“I’m right here, Five.” She said and Five turned to smile up at Luther.

“I drank the whole bottle, didn’t I?” Five asked, “That’s what you do, when the world you love goes bye-bye! Poof! It’s gone… What’re you guys talking about?”

“Two masked intruders attacked the academy last night.” Luther explained.

“They came looking for you, so I need you to focus.” Diego said, “What do they want?”

“Hazel and Cha-Cha.”

“Who?”

“You know I hate codenames.”

“Yeah, and that’s why we named you Spaceboy.” Y/N snorted as Five’s grip tightened around her hand.

“Ah, the best of the best. Except for me and-”

“Best of what?” Luther asked, interrupting him.

“Y’know, Delores always said she hated when I drink. She said it made me surly-”

“Hey!” Diego yelled and Y/N slightly flinched at the sudden loudness. “I need you to focus. What do this Hazel and Cha-Cha want?” Five wore a cheeky smile as he stared at Diego in silence. “We just want to protect you.”

“Protect me? I don’t need your protection, Diego.” Five’s voice slightly cracked, “Do you have any idea how many people I’ve killed? No. I’m the Four frickin’ horsemen. The apocalypse is coming.”

And then he threw up.

They got to Diego’s place as Five laid on the cot. Luther and Diego talked for a while before Diego left.

Luther turned to see Y/N brushing Five’s hair out of his face as she stared at him with a confused look. It looked as if she was calculating her enemy, but Luther knew that Five was definitely not considered an enemy to her.

“Something wrong?” Luther asked, suddenly breaking the awkward silence. Y/N snapped her head towards Luther.

“Sometimes Five says stuff that confuses me. He says things as if he knew another… Me before.” Y/N admitted, “Is that weird?”

“Well… We’re all a weird family… I guess.” Luther shrugged.

_____________________________________________________Y/N

Y/N woke up in a boiler room. It was filled with things to make it more homey, but still a boiler room. She was laid down on a bed, Five's face right in front of hers. She sat up, coughing harshly before rubbing her eyes.

"Ah, you're up." She looked in the direction of the voice and saw Luther stood at the top of the stairs to the door.

"Where's Diego?" Y/N asked.

Luther sat down in front of the bed and watched her. Y/N watched him back out of the corner of her eye. Luther dropped his head and took a deep breath. "So, last night, you said some things-"

"You got some water?" Y/N asked. Luthur shook his head. "Dammit…"

"Y/N…?” Y/N heard Five murmur as he sat up and groaned. She waved before coughing harshly again.

"It's really dusty… Wonder if Diego would want my help with cleaning this place?" Y/N muttered to herself.

[thefandomenchantress]

A new Disventure Camp episode came out today!! I figured now would be a good time to list some of my thoughts. Not only on this episode in particular, but also on Hunter's whole situation.

I mostly liked Ashley this episode, which is good since it was her last, but there's this one point in the episode that bothered me a lot, that being how she blows up at Jake and Ally for not getting along...And then just immediately forgives Jake the next scene when he gets sad?

I don't care if they make up, that's not what I'm getting at, but I really wish Jake would've apologized and said something like: "I'm sorry, Ashley, you're always so supportive and I just keep messing things up. I--I should've blown up at Ally like that-" and then have Ashley forgive him. As it is, I got some severe whiplash by how it seemed like Ashley was having a falling out with Jake and Ally, genuinely being mad at them, only for that to just be forgotten a few minutes later. I understand that Ashley is a forgiving person, but it seems too extreme even for her to just forgive him without him doing anything but complain about Tom being close. That's just what I think, though.

I really liked the rest of the episode, besides that small nitpick. I was worried I wouldn't like Gabby as much if she became evil and a legitimate threat, since I liked her more cartoony demeanor. Luckily, my worry was misplaced, because Gabby is just as silly as ever, even if she is trying to be evil. She literally said she was going to make a costume with a cape and mask to be evil in like she's a Scooby-doo villain or something, I love her so much. Then again, Yul did say she was a "Tumblr girl" so maybe it makes sense that I like her haha. While Gabby is a threat now, the writers don't try to make you take her super seriously, which I appreciated. Non-serious villains are always my favorites.

Sadly, I got Ashley's elimination partially spoiled for me (someone replied to a comment I made on the YouTube trailer for the episode, saying something along the lines of, 'yeah she goes home :)' to someone else in the replies who speculated she would. The downside of your comment becoming popular I guess). But I still liked it and genuinely considered that the person might've been lying when the elimination ceremony started. That was a pretty good subversion of expectations, I really thought Aiden was a goner.

I've never been a big fan of Jake, and while I'm not desperate for him to go home...I'm kind of over him, if I'm being honest. I know he's supposed to be flawed and partially unlikeable, but personally I just can't deal with all his bullshit, it stresses me out. I've never been too invested in TomJake, so all that nonsense this season hasn't been too fun for me, I'll be honest. I understand why people like it, but it's just not for me, I suppose. At this point I'm thankful James got out early, so that at least there's no drama between him and Aiden (yet). Most of the relationships this season are going downhill, haha. Except for Ally and Tess (please bring the polycule back I miss it it's one of the only polycule representations I've ever seen in media PLEASE--).

(Now starting the Hunter section. if you don't want to hear my insane ramblings about him, turn back.)

...I don't know when I'm going to make another post about Disventure Camp so I'm gonna vent about Hunter here, too. He was technically mentioned this episode, so it's totally relevant that I talk about him, right? Right.

Hunter was my favorite in season 2. I honestly don't know why, since he's pretty bland all things considered. Usually, I like the zany characters. I think it was him repeatedly failing to befriend Tess that pulled me in, since I can never resist a...Boyfailure? I think that's the internet term for it.

But this season I was just...NOT into his characterization. And as far as I've seen, I'm in the minority with that opinion, since I've seen a lot of people say they like him more now. The main line of reasoning I've seen is, "He was boring in season 2, and I liked him better in All-Stars because they gave him flaws."

And...I don't agree. I'm fine with them 3-dimentionaliszing his character, I agree that he was pretty flat before in terms of characterization. Actually, I'd love if they gave him some flaws! What if they highlight how bad he is at making connections/alliances with anyone other than Ally and Tess? They kind of do this by making Fiore be on his team and showing how his strategy of "win challenges to stay in the game" completely falls apart when he can't win challenges. And I thought that was all fine and good.

The thing I don't like is how they decided one of his main flaws should be being a not-good boyfriend. Which just doesn't feel right to me? His whole thing in season two was offering emotional support to Ally and Tess, and now they spin it so that he isn't paying proper attention to Ally or what she says, not grabbing her Switch, not listening to her when she talks about her games, etc.. I'm fine with Ally and Hunter having relationship troubles, but...I don't know, I guess I'm just a little mad they took his compassion away. He just seems a lot angrier and more mean-spirited this go around. He's not fun to watch. I think I have a good example to prove what I mean.

In the Secret-revealing episode of season 2, one of Ally's secrets is that she yelled at a group of children until they cried because they were using cheats in a game she was playing, and her excuse for doing so is that she was stressed. The writers bashing Ally aside, Hunter says something like, "Do you always yell at children when you're stressed?" in response, showing that even though he hasn't met those children who were doing something wrong, he doesn't think lashing out at them was okay.

...Meanwhile season 3 Hunter is yelling and lashing out at Fiore, a child, the whole time he's in the game. I know it's not exactly the same, Fiore is a bit of a demon-child, and Hunter was, ironically, stressed, but still. He seems so much more competitive and not as nice as he used to be. Being chill used to be his default, but now it's a sort of aggressiveness that just doesn't mesh with the original Hunter in my mind.

...I recently read that something happened behind the scenes that helped create this change in characterization, but as someone who wasn't aware of that when the first episodes aired and became upset when he was changed, I really would've liked to at least have an in-universe explanation instead of this just happening. Because until I read that information, I thought they changed him just because they thought the audience didn't like him much in season two. In short, I thought it was a needless retcon and became upset when there was no explanation for the change. If the behind-the-scenes stuff was a big enough deal that they wanted to change him like this without in-universe explanation...I might've preferred them just not using him at all. Then again, the season's not over. So I guess it's a little unfair of me to assume anything yet.

Anyways, that's all just my opinion. Feel free to share your thoughts or tell me why you think I'm being too dramatic about Hunter, haha. I feel like I'm one of very few season-two-Hunter enjoyers, so I'm not expecting that to be a super popular take. I'm just mopey that he changed, I guess.

[softguarnere]

Fic Writer Interview

Thank you for the tag @mercurygray!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 6, but hopefully that number will go up over spring break

What's your total AO3 word count?

119,136

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Like A Girl (Like A Man) - Band of Brothers

Just A Kid - The Outsiders

Bear The Burden Alone - The Chronicles of Narnia

For Whatever We Lose - Band of Brothers

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, absolutely! I share my writing because it allows me to connect with people who share my interests. If I'm not posting replies, it feels more like a one sided conversation, imo. Also, it seems the polite thing to do

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It's about to be Like A Girl (Like A Man)! You'll see why soon >:)

What the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

On AO3, it's probably Bear The Burden Alone, but I try to keep the fics that I post here on Tumblr kinda upbeat with hopeful -- albeit open-ended -- endings.

Do you write crossovers?

Yeah! For Whatever We Lose is actually a crossover with The Pacific, and I'd love to do more crossovers in the future

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep! I've deleted the comments, but some people were VERY ANGRY about the background Babe/Roe content in LAGLAM -- you know, despite the fact that the plot of the fic is driven by a queer woman's decision to cross-dress. Guess they had to draw the line somewhere, but the hypocrisy of it all makes me chuckle

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Kinda? I deleted most of it from the original LAGLAM drafts and instead just alluded to it, but things are going to be different in FWWL. Get ready for crappy ocean metaphors and religious imagery, babes!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not :( That would stink

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I think it would be fun!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Everlark! (said while frothing at the mouth because they make me go insane) I've been obsessed with them since I first read The Hunger Games at age 9. I could write you a whole novel about why I think they're perfect together, but I'll spare you the ramble (unless anyone wants it?)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Tears in my eyes when I tell you that it's probably the requests in my inbox. I keep telling myself that I'll get to them, but I've just felt unmotivated with all the stuff I've had going on in my personal life/at school. I really really do hope to get to them someday, though, because some of them will be really fun to write

What are your writing strengths?

I have no clue, lol. I tend to get compliments about how I describe settings, so I'm gonna say that!

What are your writing weaknesses?

My abuse of commas and italics.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Personally, I love doing it. Especially in a fic like LAGLAM, where even though most people don't speak the language I'm using (Cherokee), I feel like they can still see the importance to the characters and to the story. And I like tricking people into caring about Indigenous language preservation. My teachers told me that anything can be a vessel for carrying language on, and by God, I took that to heart

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Oh boy. I was in the fifth grade. I had won many writing competitions. Two classmates approached me and told me that they wished The Hunger Games had more post-Mockingjay Everlark content, and that since I was a good writer, they wanted me to write it. I was traded many cosmic brownies and other such snacks throughout the year for my services in providing my classmates with Everlark fics on pages of notebook paper that are probably crumpled up in a landfill by now. At the time, I had no idea I was writing fanfiction, but it was the start of my favorite hobby. Look at me now, baby!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I've always wanted to write for TURN: Washington's Spies but have never had the courage haha

What's your favorite fic you've written?

I have a couple of one-shots that I'm pretty pleased with, but currently I'm going to say LAGLAM because it's been so special to me <3

Tagging (but no pressure!): @almost-a-class-act @latibvles @footprintsinthesxnd @liebgotts-lovergirl

[landscaping-your-mind]

I really wanted to draw for this episode, but my head's been kind of messed up lately, so I'm just gonna ramble I guess. I've been so excited for this episode :3

Firstly, this is one of my absolute favourite episodes ever, and I Will Not shut up about it, because it's so good! Literal suburban hellscape!! To be honest I relate a little more to the other themes in this episode, being quiet fear, no one knowing or caring that you died in some supernatural suburban hell, and your body is just rotting there. An irrelevant name, an irrelevant face, just another victim of this place. Spooky stuff! Not too afraid of suburbs themselves lol, though I doubt many are.

This episode is SO neat! :D Right, on with the ramble/analysis because I have GREAT words for this episode.

@a-mag-a-day

Content warnings for everything in this episode + some themes of domestic violence/abuse.

Before we go ahead with the episode, here are some highlights from text conversations.

WHEN YOU CANT TRUST COMFORT!! (MAG 162, MAG 170, MAG 181, MAG 186, MAG 187 (to an extent)) MAG 150 (I love Cul-de-Sac and will never shut up about it) MAG 188 but when Jon' talking about how The Lonely is familiar to Martin and how the suburbia domains have quiet suffering (Will never be over that actually i have So Many Feelings) MAG 32 I can make a little quote thig one second actually because I have Thoughts god i'd be so cool on tumblr but i'm too anxious to post there, this is a tragedy [...] "I was going to die. I knew that now, just as she had, just as anyone else who came here had. How many corpses lay waiting behind the placid façade of this endless false suburbia?" Screaming Every time I think about cul-de-sac it becomes even more my favourite statement

(Messages to Mapleejay, 22 December, 2022)

One day I am going to write a statement and it's going to be like eye, lonely, idk, but it's definitely going to be eye and lonely and it's going to be so horrifying because combination false comfort + THAT being desperate for help people watching and laughing and judging but passing by + that line from cul-de-sac I'm obsessed with [...] Being lonely isn't just about being alone physically Being alone in an uncaring crowd [...] No one knows or cares what you're dealing with The line from cul-de-sac is "Her face was bloody but I was sure I didn't recognize her. She had a bag with her, and her ID read "Yetunde Uthman," not a name I'd ever encountered before. Just another victim of this place" but also "How many corpses lay waiting behind the placid facade of this endless false suburbia?" And "I checked to see if I could find anything out about Yetunde Uthman, and I did find a few old social media profiles, but I wasn't able to get through to any family or friends. As far as I can tell she disappeared a year ago and nobody noticed."

(Messages to Mapleejay, 29 December, 2022)

Now, onto the actual reaction, posting it on tumblr dot com because I am no longer too anxious! Hell, I might even post the previously mentioned compilation of quotes with commentary! Fun times.

You’re all alone, trying to connect with people, trying to find your place in the world, but in the end the only person you really know is yourself, and even then, not all that well. There’s plenty of things I’ve done I couldn’t explain to you.

Shout out to that time my sister tried to convince me that she knew me better than I knew myself. Not in a malicious way, mind, we were kids, and she just figured that because she could remember more of my life, she knows me more.

Yeah, I mean, I guess it's for everyone I guess, but here I am with my impulsivity and memory issues having no idea why the hell I did so many of the stupid things I've done. You whole life is just justifying to yourself the decisions you've made, so maybe I'm just not grand at that /hj.

“What an idiot! How the hell could he have done such an obviously stupid thing? How was I surprised it went so badly? What a relief I’m now so much older and wiser.” Except that last part never really turns out to be true, does it? The line of when you were your dumb younger self seems to keep moving forward with you, until each more mature and reasonable version of you eventually falls foul of it and becomes a young idiot.

A year ago, I thought I had really worked on my anger and just become an all-round nicer person to be around, and then I look back and realize that yes, my anger was still very much there, and also that I was quite... passionate? I am still, I'm pretty loud, it comes with the territory, and that can be misinterpreted as or become anger, given the right (or wrong) circumstances.

It's not really worth it, is it. I can berate myself from 4 years ago for being an angry, clingy little prick, but there's not really a point anymore. I understand them, I understand why fae was angry and clingy and sort of mean, and now I know how to not be angry and clingy and mean, and being angry at your younger self really doesn't accomplish anything. This is @ jon sims, pull yourself together man.

The thing is, when we both found ourselves in positions to be working from home, we actually thought it was going to be really good for our relationship. The two of us, spending all our time together; we reckoned it was going to be real romantic. We were real stupid back then.

If I know anything from the statistics of domestic violence in the pandemic, then yeah no. No. Not that their relationship was abusive or anything.

Also, I like how Herman goes from saying how believing you're much older and wiser is a lie, to saying that they were really stupid "back then," there's something in that. I don't know what.

Hell, technically it’s not even a suburb. It’s just a village that looks so much like a suburb that you could pull it up drop it on the edge of any dull town in England and it would look the same.

Can't believe the suburban hellscape episode isn't even set in a suburb.

Just street after street of identical, blandly pleasant houses, all winding around each other in dead ends and cul-de-sacs and one-way streets, making sure every house has plenty of inoffensive garden. I’ve never seen people happily living in a place so obviously dead.

CAN I QUICKLY TALK ABOUT GRASS?

Grass, the short lawn grass, it's not great. It is bad for the environment actually. Suburbs slash neg.

Just that last bit of that paragraph. Real.

I’d say that cheating on him was a foolish act of past me, but honestly, it’s one of the few decisions I’ve ever made that I completely understand. I didn’t even try to hide it, not really, and when he found out and it all ended, I kind of hated myself for just how relieved I was that I’d finally be able to leave that place, to get in my car and drive away from that gentle suburban nightmare.

I like that phrase, "gentle suburban nightmare."

I got a cheap apartment in Liverpool and tried to tell myself I was happier. The single life, footloose and … sitting at home binging bad TV. I tried to get back into the club scene, but honestly, I think I’m just too old now. The music was too loud, the drinks were too expensive and the sort of thing I used to take to be dancing all night now hit me with a comedown so hard that I had to write off almost the entire week.

As mentioned above, I don't really think The One Alone is only about physical isolation. It can be, sure, but I feel like it's also about the failure to connect. There are so many people and none of them see you, and you don't see them, and there's an insurmountable difference between you and them.

It didn’t help that, over the course of a ten-year relationship, “my friends” had become “our friends” and there weren’t any of them siding with me in this situation. Some would drop platitudes about maybe reconnecting after the fallout was done with, but I know when I’m being handled by people who “don’t want to create any more drama.”

✨ loosing all of your friends at once ✨

Ah... good times, good times.

It's like, not only have you lost one person, then you lose everyone, and if you had anyone left you just sort of... assume you don't. It's so easy to cut yourself off, and when you've done it once you can do it again, and again, and again, and again.

I don’t know. I was younger, then. Foolish.

There is something there!

Then Jon does a litte laugh, assuming in statement character, so I'm guessing the statement giver was laughing at himself. Neat detail.

It was late when I got to what I thought was his street, driving through the one-way signs and well-maintained gardens that bordered that snaking road. The sun had disappeared, but the sky was still fairly light, that late-summer twilight that seems to just drag on forever.

Mate, I love the aesthetic of the fog and The Lonely, but that's not really what feels lonely to me. This feels lonely, slightly humid, sun shining into your eyes, slight breeze, no one around, flat and empty.

Yes, I know I'm just describing an Ontario summer.

There was no answer at any of them. There were no lights on behind the drawn curtains, and all the house numbers were zero.

It's so freaky! The growing dread, you know this could almost be an I Do Not Know You statement, what with the things playing at being normal houses, and the tv show shown later.

I wished I hadn’t thrown away the wristwatch Alberto had given me, but it was too late for those regrets.

I may be reaching, but could this be a microcosm of Herman's regret at having thrown away him and Alberto's relationship, and seeing it as too late to salvage it. Now he's left with no way to tell the time, as it were, in a manifestation of The Lonely.

At the start, I was counting how many houses I passed, but when I got to a hundred, I stopped. It was beginning to eat away at my careful rationalisations, and I couldn’t allow that.

I'm just highlighting it because I find it interesting how his mind works. Not in a bad way or even a good way. It just is.

I marched up to a nearby front door, prepared to kick in the flimsy-looking wood, but trying the handle revealed it was unlocked. I don’t know why I picked that house. It was exactly identical to all the others, and I’ve often wondered if there was anything that drew me to it. Perhaps I was just unlucky, or perhaps there only ever was one house.

I just really like this section. "Perhaps there only ever was one house," should be up there with "the blanket never did anything," as creepy lines. The theme of inevitability. This is going to happen, there is only one possible way this can end.

It feels tired, that's the lonely to me. Just being tired. You can cry all you want, you can be afraid but... at the end you're just tired and alone and it hasn't changed a thing. Inevitability in that way.

Or maybe, inevitability that you were always going to be alone. Maybe there's just something wrong with you.

Hhhh I love this episode so so so so so much.

The lights worked, which was a relief, and the inside looked exactly how I expected it to. And I mean, exactly how I expected it to: from the blank IKEA furniture, to the subtly-patterned cream wallpaper, to the picture frames lining the wall containing what were clearly stock photos, each of a different family pantomiming a scene of domestic bliss.

Firstly, the line "pantomiming a scene of domestic bliss" is just so... I love it so much. I love this episode so much. A family home, a happy family home from the outside looking in.

Secondly:

I did find several pictures of her and her new boyfriend though, which puts my mind somewhat at ease. Well, mostly. There’s something about him that doesn’t seem quite right. Something about the smile, maybe? I mean, they’re all pictures of Sasha and Tom, as I’m told his name is, having fun together, but… it’s hard to put into words exactly, but every one of them looks somehow like a stock photo.

(MAG 57 - Personal Space)

I could point to this and say that this is an example of it potentially being The Stranger, however I'm going to use it to point out something else.

You’re thinking too literally. Examining the physical categorisation, but ignoring the meaning of the thing. What are the bones? In the Distortion, your “Michael”, the structure of a skeleton, an established reality in your mind, is twisted and warped into an impossible form. But in other cases? Are they a symbol of slaughter and butchery? Are they the familiar made wrong? Or are they simply part of the messy, physicality of flesh?

(MAG 80 - The Librarian)

What matters is what it is, in this case the stock photos, what matters is what it means, what it makes the person looking at it feel. In Tom and Not!Sasha's case, it's representing how Not!Sasha is pantomiming as a real person, everything looks like a stock photo because she isn't actually a person going on dates with her boyfriend, she's pretending to be.

The stock photos in this episode are representing the pretense of this home where atrocities are committed being a normal family home. It's set up like a little suburban home, beige walls, sofa tv, family pictures, lovely place to raze a child - sorry raise a child - just so long as you ignore the blood dripping down from upstairs!

She was talking, or at least, it sounded like she was. The cadence and the sounds were so much like English that it took me almost a full minute to realise that she wasn’t actually saying words.

I recently relistened to episode 48 - Lost in the Crowd, and it's reminded me just how much I like the little bits of it focused on language. Easy to feel alienated when you don't know what people are saying.

The Lonely and The Stranger are pretty similar - one could say that they're part of the same thing and separating them with no room for nuance was a stupid thing fictionalized Robert Smirke - but yeah I mean, it's pretty easy to feel lonely in a crowd of people you don't know. The Lukas', the crowd, these people on the TV, they're all strangers, people you don't know who you feel scared of.

It's interpretation, really.

I hit the remote again. A shopping channel. The host was a tall, clean-shaven man with close-cropped hair. He was holding a brick and talking about it in that same flow of non-words, that still had a familiar salesman’s patter. The screen scrolled the message “buy now!”, though there was neither price nor contact details, as this man, who wouldn’t look at the camera, earnestly pretended to sell me a brick.

Firstly, Spamton G. Spamton is that you? Secondly, this is so freaky, I like it a lot. Just someone really trying to sell you a brick in complete gibberish, that's just so cool! Jonny just blew it out of the water with this one (it's my favourite non-metaplot episode).

I didn’t know them, as it turned out.

OOOOH JUST! HM! Just another person, dead upstairs, unknown even in death, not missed, alone even in death.

"I didn't know them."

She had a bag with her, and her ID read ‘Yetunde Uthman’ – not a name I’d ever encountered before. Just another victim of this place.

The line "just another victim of this place" is making me so unbelievably bouncing at the walls, tearing and ripping. Just another person, one of a million, just happened to be here, just another victim of this place.

I... don't know how to describe what I'm thinking when I hear that line. Just another victim of this place, just another poor unfortunate soul (in pain, in need) who somehow stumbled upon this suburban hellscape and died for it. Just another person with no one who would miss them, no one who'd notice they were gone. Just another lonely person, one of millions.

I am so abnormal about that line.

It looked as though she had forced her head through the mirror on the dressing table, the shards cutting her face and neck to ribbons, a particularly large piece piercing her jugular, spilling blood all down the unremarkable white table and onto the light brown carpet below. I don’t think she’d been dead that long, but I’m not a doctor and I didn’t really try to check.

I like how it's noted that their blood was spilled onto another piece of set dressing for this ordinary suburban household. "Spilling blood all down the unremarkable white table and onto the light brown carpet below." Noting the how the table is "unremarkable"... I just think that's neat, you know? How her blood has shattered the illusion of a normal home, a normal family posing in the picture frames.

How many corpses lay waiting behind the placid façade of this endless false suburbia?

Quiet terror. Private terror - you can't let anyone know. Put up a united front, and let things fall apart at home. Houses so put together in the front exactly like the others, but when you get inside there is the unmistakable sent of rot.

I need to write something with this, good lord.

Also, this reminds me of a line in 188.

ARCHIVIST But if you think there’s a lack of violence or suffering, then I’m afraid you’re mistaken. There’s plenty, it’s just… hidden. Trapped behind identical doors and down silent streets of unknown neighbours. The suffering here is deep. And it’s private.

(MAG 188 - Centre of Attention)

I say this as if I did not already think this already. I was not just reminded, I think about this podded cast quite a bit.

He was calling me; I don’t know how. But the tears came even faster now, as I answered, sobbing with relief to hear him yelling at me for taking so long. Had I forgotten? Was I even planning to bother? I tried to reply, to explain, but all I could manage to say, to get through the shaking sobs, was, “I love you.”

That's just a really beautiful moment, you think you're going to die and then you remember you love someone, and then someone comes to help you, because people love each other.

It's just... I really love that the way to beat The Lonely is love. Being loved, loving, not necessarily romantically, but human connection, love from person to person, in families, romantic partners, strangers, friends.

I think it's really great, I think this moment is really great, and I know Gerry says there are no entities of hope or love but I don't think we need them, 'cause we love enough on our own.

We’re working on it, the two of us. We’re not exactly back together yet, but I think it’s going well.

Yay! Fuck yeah! They're okay, or they're getting there, and you know what, great for them, great for them. Goddamn horror podcast with hope? And love? Hhhhh /pos.

As far as I can tell, she disappeared a year ago. And nobody noticed.

I've said this before in this, and I'll say it again. That really gets to me. Just being alone there, having no one even look for you, notice that you're gone, even care.

It's... horrible.

It’s not that easy though. When everyone has so many walls, so many defences, sometimes you can feel lonely even when you’re all in the same room. But it’s better than the alternative, and at least none of us are suffering alone.

That must be so awkward, like they all have so much baggage with each other, what do they do? Play scrabble? Jenga? They can't play cards 'cause Jon would accidentally cheat - or they'd accuse Jon of accidentally cheating - which sucks, because Sevens is fun. I learned Sevens from some guy in a pub in Ireland. It was fun.

MELANIE Jon, have you got a moment? ARCHIVIST Uh, course, I was just, um, having a statement. MELANIE Oh … A-an old one? ARCHIVIST Wha— Yes, an old one! I’m not— I’m doing my best. MELANIE Sure. ARCHIVIST What do you want?

My first reaction was "there was no reason for it to get so antagonistic in five seconds, Melanie" but then I reconsidered, and I understand why Melanie would say that, but why did she though? Like, what was the reason? He's in his office? The statement's right in front of him? Why? Like, fine, whatever, I get it, I can be nice and nuanced or whatever, but sometimes I don't want to and I want to get a bit miffed at Melanie for making it an angry conversation when it didn't have to be.

MELANIE Look, I’m not going to do my job anymore. ARCHIVIST I’m not sure I follow. You know we can’t quit. We’ve all tried. MELANIE I didn’t say I was going to quit. I said I’m not going to do my job: no researching, no filing, no field trips, nothing that is going to help the Institute in any way. I’ll still be around, I just … I can’t be a part of this anymore. If I get sick, I get sick, and if I die …

I get why they were still doing their jobs, out of the fear of getting sick or dying from it.

MELANIE Because this place is evil, Jon. And so, doing this job, helping it out, even in small ways, is in some ways evil tool. Every time we try to use it to do good, it just seems to make everything worse. And … And I will not be a part of that anymore. ARCHIVIST What about the Unknowing? W-we saved the world. MELANIE Did we? I-I mean, I think it was the right thing to do, but how many people were killed to do it? W-we weren’t even a neutral party. We did it as agents of The Eye, because Elias told us to.

Yeah! Yeah it is evil! Good on Melanie, honestly, for Jon it's... less of an option, but I'm glad Melanie's doing it. Also why is she nearly spot on-

MELANIE Martin put him there. A-and he’s still doing harm! You ever think that maybe this whole ritual business is just an excuse, and that we’re all just part of some huge, miserable fear machine?

So, what if I told you-

I mean, she's not wrong. She is not wrong.

Does this count as striking? Is she striking from her evil eye job?

MELANIE Right, right, okay. I know. That is why I ruined my first four sessions and almost torpedoed the chance at a genuinely really good therapist, because I was so paranoid that she was going to turn out to be some … some thing trying to manipulate me. But no. She’s not full of spiders, or made of wax, or wearing the therapist’s skin or whatever. She’s just a well-trained professional, who I am paying to help me.

Look hm I'm just, I'm cheerleading. Go Melanie! (woo) Idk what to say. Don't really care about this post statement.

MELANIE Look, I didn’t come here for a fight. I just wanted to let you know what was going on. If you need me, I’ll be trying to get Daisy drunk.

Hey, I mean. High stress situation, they're bound to be a bit snappy. And by them I do mean both of them, whatever, my blorbo isn't infallible or something.

I don't really care about the post statement.

In conclusion, I love this statement so much. I think it's really cool, I like the themes of quiet and private terror, and love saving people. Cul-de-Sac my absolute beloved, I started this at ~4pm, it is now ~8:30pm.

[mangonatural]

Rules: Make a 24 hour poll with the names of your WIPs, let it run, then work for 10 minutes for every vote the winner receives.

Thank you for the tag, @angelcasendgame!!!!! I am not sure I will be able to work on anything very soon just because life came after me again, and turns out I'm gonna be moving over the next month or so, but I really do hope I can find time!!

None of these have names yet lol. I put the SPN ones first, but technically I've been trying to break my writer's block by returning to The Great Gatsby (It's all Nick/Gatsby btw, just realized that might not be immediately evident) with limited success. It's always come easier for me. But all of this is stuff I do actively want to work on.

Ohh I don't know who to tag. I'm sure everyone in this circle has been tagged already, and most of the people I talk to regularly enough to know about their projects have more or less left Tumblr... I do absolutely want to pass this your way though, @antique-ro-man!! (It's Wes, btw!) I also wanna tag @heyfagbutt! And then anyone else who sees this and wants to participate, I also encourage it!! This is such a cool idea :D !!

Long, rambling explanations down here ⬇⬇

I think the name is pretty explanatory? The gist of it is they go after the same guy and become pseudo-enemies but they keep bumping into each other like this and decide to work together after a while 👍 this is a really bad hook LMAO. Anyway, I'm trying to build on the idea that they work REALLY well together when they do it intentionally but fail comically when they don't.

Pretty much what it says on the tin as well. No Supernatural AU. Dean goes to a community college to get a certification to help with his work elsewhere, but Cas, a figure drawing model, catches him drawing (which Dean's been doing on and off as a hobby) and tries to get him to sign up for the arts program.

I technically only have a summary of this, and I'm not entirely sure if I will write it all out, but I do want to at least put more time into the development before I dedicate to giving up on it bc of scope lol. I just have SUCH a soft spot for fake relationship AUs. Also, I just found out that while I have FINALLY aged into independent FAFSA eligibility, I am once again tax bracketed out. Anyway, financial abuse is real and I want to project my suffering onto Dean. Also immigrant Cas, but I haven't decided where I want him to be from yet. I think this has a lot of potential for some pretty hefty character redesigns too so it's also compelling to me from that angle. I guess I could also write it for TGG, but I did initially think of it for Destiel, so.

I don't know how to explain this one very well except that I had unhelpfully written "poolboy au" in my notes and then proceeded to forget what the hell I meant. This fic was an attempt to resurrect that but ended up being a funky modern West Coast re-imagining where Gatsby can't even "make it" as much as he wants to, and Nick can't find a place to live except for a less-than-legally rented pool house. It's not meant to be a full rewrite or anything though.

Uhhh yeah, I'm keeping the details private for this one ahaha but that's just because it wasn't supposed to be a big deal and I told a friend she would see what it was when it was done...like oh god probably a month ago at this point... My original scope for this was quite small, but research for it, indecision, and a nasty case of writer's block that I've had for nearly a year now have kept development a bit slow. Hopefully, I'll finish it before the year comes to a close.

I also don't know how to explain this one well other than "after being rejected by Daisy (Canon Divergent), Gatsby attempts to buy his way into a bewildered Nick's heart. Though the fic is from Nick's POV, Gatsby's just had his worldview shattered and is in a bit of denial, but instead of pursuing Daisy harder, he channels all of that energy into Nick (though he's not really sure why he's doing it at first). I wasn't sure what to put up at the top because I absolutely don't want my code name for this public at least until it's done LMAO.

[henrioo]

Hiii, since i’ve nothing to do and I love rambling, I’ll ramble abt how much I appreciate your writing.

When i first installed tumblr, i was already attacked by she/hers in fanfics (😥😥). Tbh i was tired of fem blogs, thinking everyone is fem or idk . You’re the first one piece blog i actually like. Whenever i want, i can just re-read your blog’s fics and others. I really like your account !! ^_^ finally a good one piece blog, the others aren’t really safe tbh. Like those who wrotes ‘gn!reader’ but hit you with ‘good girl, wife etc..’ or those who feminized ftm!reader.. like tf… anyway live laugh love your account (its really entertaining !!)

— SOSO’S

YES I LOVE RAMBLING TOO THIS BLOG HAVE MORE ME RUMBLING THAN STORIES PLEASE RUMBLE WITH ME

Yeah ik, honestly i know Tumblr before I even think about myself like a trans person, so having fem content didn't bother me at all at that time

But when I got back here last year I realized how much fem content exists, but I was like "nha it's fine, we still have some gn content I will be fine"

Spoilers, I didn't get fine

It's so rare to have real neutral content in gn content that this makes me so frustrated that when I started my blog, I always got this on writing "if you can't find or it's not good enough for you, then make yourself"

And I did and I went pretty fine I guess, at least my gn are really neutral I hope hahaha

But day by day got me more and more frustrated and my dysphoria was getting worse because I was missing having some real valid male content

I need my favorite look at me and say "I love you like a man, like a boyfriend, I want you to be my husband, the father of my children"

I need to read that they also see me like a man.

And then I went to look for male content and well, things can really be worse the deeper you go

And then I realized that male content here is a totally red flag and basically a big NO

Amab or afab doesn't matter, they all gonna treat you like a super shy delicate boy

You're always gonna be the bottom, and if you are the top then the bottom will be a FTM reader (why can't you top a cis man?)

You're always gonna be feminized and like panties and pink and nicknames to shame you like princess and whatever

The worst for me was seeing that most of that stuff was writing of male writers

Like, you are hating your own identity?

I'm sorry if you like to be some weird femboy that likes to be treated like a woman and a slave

But I'm sure most masc people (cis, trans, NB etc) genuinely don't like that

It's totally fine you wanting someone to validate your gender, regardless of the gender okay? That's why cis women like to be called princess and stuff

But seriously, this just makes my dysphoria really bad because omg can't nobody write just a normal male reader? It's not an alien, we are human like everyone, it's like they write about male like they never interacted with a man in their whole life?

Do you guys know that romantic and platonic relationship between gays are basically the same as a couple of lesbian or straight people? Right? We are not different from anyone

Ofc gays have their own fights but like??? Are you getting? Idk how to explain better

Then again the hit "make yourself" and that's what I'm making lol, I have a lot of hiatus due my mental condition, I'm not gonna lie about that

But I'm always doing my best to have more stories here, maybe I won't give you guys new stories every week, maybe I will take some good months on the ask, maybe I will disappear and get back

But I'm not planning on giving up on this project so soon

Writing male stories is healing not only you guys, but me, really healing me

And that's why I won't stop, I want to write about a lot of things, some stories I will talk about more serious things like dysphoria or homophobia because I think it is fair we have good stories talking about this

I want to write about comfort, about angst, about grief, about transitions, I want to write about children readers and happy families

I want to write for FTM boys, NB boys, cis boys

I want platonic, romantic, nsfw, angst, long, short

I want all

Because I think we deserve that, and if I have the power to do then I will do

And see that not only me is being healed by my blog is always what give more determination to continue

Like I said, maybe not as fast as we all wanted, but I'm promise I'm here and I'm not leaving soon

Okay I talked a lot lol hahahah well thanks for that

I'm always happy to see you guys enjoying here, it really makes me happy, so make yourself welcome and enjoy!

[trenchcoatsbi]

yoo could i ask for a playlist for a tallulah qsmp fictive mayhaps? she has an insatiable hunger for music it's frightening (/silly) ,, she likes soundtracks (child of light is her current fav), stuff like the oh hellos/cavetown/bears in trees, and generally cozy sorta feeling songs, plus anything lullaby-ey if that makes sense :] hope u guys are well! sorry this is a tad long or vague hhaha -–🔉🌠

hello! Admittedly I rushed this a bit I’m not as sure about these as I was about 🌾🪶 Phil’s but I took a swing we’ll see if I missed later I guess. I tried to include as many artists as possible so you have plenty of people to look through since you said she was a bit insatiable when it came to music! I did phone in the last few songs like the lullaby-eque ones. yeah again this was a bit of a mess on my end. Though I have been writing down songs for this for a while I didn't have an easy time narrowing down things as to what I wanted to include so at this point I've just thrown my hands in the air and declared it done now. Sorry if the playlist is messy or unsatisfactory.

Art used is by @/sallomezz on tumblr and can be found here!

Hope you find something to enjoy on the playlist or in my bonus ramblings below! -phil

okay so I kinda cheated my self imposed rule of one song per artist but in my defense I couldn’t choose between Moonlight and Paperwork… They’re my two favorite Fish in a Birdcage songs and I thought both were kinda fitting so oh well both of them are there.

Anywho I could go on and on and on about how I was this close to fighting myself to the death (<- hyperbolic) over this. Let's just get to other recommendations I didn't put on for one reason or another.

Starting with musicians I put on there but didn't include a song from for whatever reason:

Myxrite! My personal favorite song Now and Again doesn't look like its on Spotify at all so uh yeah I'm linking it here because I like it a lot.

Bug Hunter is on there too but he's currently in the top ten of my favorite musicians so yeah here's more suggestions! Go With The Flow and Listen to Your Mom pretty high up there in terms of my favorite songs. Making Up Words is one of my favorites lyrically (though I must say that Disco in the Panic Room is up there too), and of course I have to mention Try My Best and Slow Burn because I keep using lyrics from them to inspire drawings (that I'll never post anywhere online). Okay fuck I need to move on before I link literally every single one of his songs lol

Same as Bug Hunter, The Narcissist Cookbook is up there in terms of my favorite musician + he put the MOTH album (one of his old ones that wasn't on on youtube yet) on youtube recently so he's been in my head a lot. Ghost Stories and UNWELCOME GUESTS (warning: unwelcome guests starts with a phone ringing noise idk my friends always get surprised by it so I'm just gonna mention it in case) are rahgjagh they are so good they exist in my head rent free

Madilyn Mei has been on loop in my head cause a friend of mine. Anyway Six Legs (tippy tappy toes) and Sleeping in the Kitchen. just live in my brain now because of them lol

The actual recommendations that aren't just more songs from folk on the playlist already:

I Fight Dragons! I fucking love them! Their music tends to have techy/8-bit noises and they're a bit more on the rock side of things but their stuff is really good! Good Morning Sunlight and Oh The Places You'll Go... They are the most <3 to me forever... Sunny Afternoon too... God I love IFD I need to make my friends listen to them with me more

If you like IFD you may also like Jonathan Coulton or the portal song guy as my friends know him lol. Nobody Loves You Like Me or Now I Am an Arsonist or really anything from the Artificial Heart Album is always my go to for showing people besides the songs from Portal (Still Alive and Want You Gone) that my friends know.

Similar to IFD, a lot of Going Spaceward's songs have techy noise in the like proper releases, but his youtube has a lot of acoustic versions of his songs that don't have those. His covers are good but really most of his music is just funky. Uh since I will absolutely not narrow this down in any timely fashion I'm just going to link the entire Can You Hear It Album and uh Count Past 23.

Joseph Dubay is a musician I only got into like a few months ago but I really like his stuff, kinda similar vibes to what i was going for with this playlist but a lot of his songs just didnt fit the vibe so I didn't feel like adding them. That being said I am obliged to tell absolutely everyone I talk about music with to listen to Pastel Goth and 4evr so yeah.

Completely different vibe but San Fermin may be of interest to y'all! Astronaut and The Woods are the ones I listen to most from them but everything about their music just scratches the brain itch for me. Their stuff is indie rock which is kinda in the genres of the bands you mentioned!

A bit of a different suggestion but since you mentioned her liking soundtracks AZALI might be a cool youtube channel to check out! They make short songs in FL Studio and idk I'll be honest I don't listen to soundtracks or things like you mentioned in that part of your ask but I do listen to every upload AZALI makes and I think they're all pretty neat. The songs are all like a minute or two long but I like to just put them on loop when I'm writing. Truth, Violence, Warmth is my go to for writing for this specific project, but Mechanical God was how I found their channel and I'm just fond of City of Shattered Glass so there those three are my suggestions.

[drchiropterajones]

Man, I don't want to start arguing on somebody else's post and start drama, but there was something that felt so weird and off about this take that I feel the need to ramble about it, so bear with me.

(Standard caveats, you are of course allowed to play DnD or write fantasy in whatever way makes you happy and you're not beholden to make fiction that one opinionated paladin-appreciator on the internet thinks is Correct, etc, but I'm gonna use the rhetorical approach of 'all of my subjective preferences are objective fact!' that tumblr is so fond of, so whatever)

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but like... yeah... a real-world equivalent of a paladin or a knight IS in fact a cop. Or a soldier, or a security guard, or what have you? That's kind of what they... inherently are? They are a person who uses violence on behalf of an abstract or concrete moral authority. If that isn't what they are, then they aren't really a paladin anymore! If what you want to write is a healer or a general do-gooder, that's fine but the violence is kind of inherent to a paladin or knight?

This feels like the kind of attitude you have when you say "ACAB!" because it's the trendy leftist thing to say and cops are The Bad Guys, but you don't actually have any... deeper understanding of WHY police brutality is bad? Or any conception of, like, authority and violence and power and etc being twined together? And how 'violence to protect/defend' is so hard to neatly separate out from regular violence? You just know that violence is bad when The Enemy does it, but good when Our Side does it? And cops are Bad, and my character is not Bad, ergo can't be a cop!

There is just such a disconnect here between "Fantasy world violence is good and fun and slicing people in half with zweihanders is cool to imagine yourself doing!" and "Real world violence is obviously usually horrible". And like, fair I guess, you're allowed to want to turn parts of your brain off when you're in a story. And if you try and consume or create only media that never uses cathartic righteous violence as fun, you're going to have a bad time in fantasy.

But like... What is it that makes a paladin hacking apart 'bad guys' with a sword in a fantasy world good and morally uncomplicated, but real-world violence not? What exists in the fantasy world that handwaves away the moral concerns?

Is it that the authority your paladin is acting on behalf of is Inherently Good and therefore so long as your paladin obeys their orders it's fine? If so, Hoo Boy, that is a can of worms.

Is it that a fantasy setting contains Evil Guys who are just inherently evil and you don't need to feel bad about killing them? Even worse!

What are you saying when you write these stories? What is the meaning? What are we saying about authority and violence?

If your paladin isn't allowed to engage with this stuff - if a character archetype usually defined in equal parts by their Lawfulness/duty and their Goodness isn't ever allowed to grapple with the contradictions inherent between those two things - man is there even any POINT to writing them as a paladin? You are stripping away the most interesting bits!

Why is it more 'progressive' to posit a world in there IS such a thing as absolute authority that is allowed to use all of the violence it wants free of judgement because they're The Good Guys? And as long as your character aligns themselves with that side then they're peachy? Is that really progressive just because the thought process stems from 'ACAB'?

[candy-pants]

Oh no I’m so sorry!! I hesitated to say anything cuz I wasn’t sure if you were just taking your time lol. Sorry we’re down to the last day but let’s pack in a lot of questions in that case!! First off, Ashley is kinda slaying in that vid ngl. And I love learning more about latam Disney channel, thanks for sharing!! What show were they on?? And you have a point about Sabrina lol. Switching gears, ofc ik you love descendants and mal and Ben in particular, who are your favs outside of the core four and why? What are your fav ships besides bal and why? And what are your biggest hopes for rise of red? I hope you have a great holiday and enjoy your gift tomorrow!! Sorry again for the miscommunication!! -gcwca secret Santa

don't worry! i was thinking you were busy or something so i didn't say anything either sdjhdhdsj i know tumblr tends to be the worst functioning website on the planet but we're all still here so i guess that says something about us

okay this is gonna be a long one buckle up

1 - they were in a show called que talento! (yes with an exclamation point) and they were basically playing themselves if they went to high school and were still amateurs lol i really liked the theme song but only the show version bc the studio version sounds awful sorry bruno i know you produced it but it sucks

2 - out of the core four (and ben) i have to say uma is a huge fav for me, probably my 3rd favorite character of the franchise. when i heard china anne mcclain was back on disney channel to play her i was sooooo excited and i can't imagine anyone better for the role. i love that she has such a strong sense of justice and community even if her ways aren't necessarily the best. obviously i love that the franchise makes sure to let us know she and mal are two sides of the same coin and if they weren't both so proud and stubborn they'd be friends, but i like that uma isn't just a carbon copy of mal like they're very much two different characters. uma is driven by collectiveness and she cares so hard about everybody it's almost aggressive and she's such a great example of leadership on the isle (as acknowledged by both ben in d2 and mal in d3 (and as a side note i'm obsessed with mal, ben and uma's dynamic and i could ramble on about it for the next 10 years but that's not the point)) and if i don't stop now this is gonna turn into a mal vs uma analysis

3 - i really really love the idea that mal and uma are exes. like to me that's just canon and no one is gonna tell me otherwise bc it doesn't contradict anything! "and how would you know, mal? you've never had [a boyfriend]" so in my head she could have dated uma idc it was probably quick and messy bc they would have this toxic power struggle which ultimately ends in mal not letting her join the gang. i think they would absolutely kill each other as a couple now bc of how similar they are but as exes? hell yeah that's a vibe

as for present day relationships i'm a fan of harry and uma getting together at some point in the future bc lbr those two are in a weird situationship lmao i also love jay and gil!!! very unexpected but jay realizing how jaded he's become after seeing the beauty of gil experiencing things with such wonder and then deciding to do a gap year so they can travel the world together is something that can actually be so personal

ALSO i'm not usually one for crackships but harry x evie had me like 👀 in d3 bc sorry wtf is this

for the record i don't think they should realistically get together, i don't think they'd work out, but the chemistry is there and for some reason kenny chose to highlight it so idk

4 - oooo so rise of red. here's the thing. i'm fully expecting this movie to be bad sdjdshjdjhsjdh i'm mostly worried about these seemingly amateur writers they got. like. even if descendants is its own little fanfiction thing let's at least try to make things coherent inside its own universe. the fact that they all went to school together defeats the purpose of beast UNITING THE KINGDOMS but well anyway let's see what they're gonna do

i like jennifer phang as a director though! she did two eps of cloak and dagger (one of which is 2x01, one of my personal favs) and the pilot of secrets of sulphur springs, so i know she's competent. and mark hofeling is coming back which is GREAT bc changing the production designer would be a terrible move for a spin-off partly set in present day. i just wish kara saun would come back to do the costumes but oh well

i'm so excited to see your gift!!!!! i hope you have a great holiday as well!!!!!!

[duckwithablog]

The lurker anon reappears! Thank you for answering my questions, and I’d love to hear the backstory of your macaque theme!

Also, I forgot to label myself. Silly me. Mmm 🤔… perhaps peach🍑 anon if it’s free? Because- unrelated to the cute and cheeky monkey man- I really, really love peaches!

YOO hello again!! And yeah, 🍑 anon is free!! I haven't tried eating peaches but they look so aesthetic,, the only peach flavored thing i tried was a peach drink and i ordered it PURELY bcs of LMK HHAHSHSAH

time for some blog lore..... THIS IS GONNA BE KINDA LONG AND RAMBLY SO BE WARNED-

Before this account was made, I actually had a different tumblr account for personal use (I never log into it anymore though lol) instead of writing. I was in the LMK fandom at the time, so I was reading x reader fics EVERYWHERE I could, from wattpad to tumblr to ao3.

And wouldn't you know it, when I was scrolling through the tags on tumblr I saw someone promoting their newly written fic they made on ao3!! I read it, loved the premise, and left a kudos and a comment (I think I left a comment? I'm not sure, I was a lurker as well when it came to reading HSDHSD).

Not too long after, I was scrolling through their blog and saw a post of them asking for any possible writing friends to interact. I thought 'hey!! i can write!!' and promptly sent them a dm. We chatted over our brainrot of the stinky monkeys and we grew to be pretty close writing buddies!! I even got to come up with a ship name for a pairing in the fic (the pairing was Macaque and Y/n, and Y/n in the fic was a baker, so I proposed the ship name 'Mooncake'. Still super proud of that ngl!! I'm pretty sure I made one for Wukong and Y/n too, but I forgot what it was </33 Mooncake was just so iconic to me).

We bounced off ideas from each other, and I sent them posts about Wukong (they were a Wukong Apologist and honestly, slay), and one of them actually managed to influence their characterization for him in a later chapter!! I was even writing my own LMK x reader fic at the time, and while I gave up on it after a while, they were the first person to ever read the first few paragraphs and gave me their thoughts.

Eventually, I had an urge to make a whole blog dedicated to x reader writings because I was inspired by them to make one, and when I told them they told me to go for it!!

Here's where the important bit comes in: This person's blog was themed around Sun Wukong. They're a Monkey King lover, they fucking love that stupid smelly monkey man!! So I told them "hey wouldnt it be funny if my blog was Macaque themed so we could match?" and they went "DUDE"

And boom!! That's the reason why my blog is Macaque themed!! I went through a LOT of custom tumblr themes (you know where you open someones blog and instead of being the regular tumblr blog layout its a totally new one that they customized themselves? Yeah that was me), meanwhile my friend just stuck to a simple 'Wukong pfp + header and orange background'. I think that matched our character themes really well HAHSAHSAH

Unfortunately, I'm sure that my friend is not working/active anymore. Their last post on tumblr was them apologizing for the lack of updates because of art school, and that was it. I don't know how long it's been since I checked up on the fic, but when I did, I found that their ao3 account was orphaned. So it's probably safe to assume that theyre not coming back to their tumblr acc either.

But still... I kept my Macaque theme. Even when my LMK interest started to fade and other media took over my brain, I refused to change it. Idk why, sentimentality I guess? It just felt wrong.

I have no idea where they are now, honestly. I just hope theyre doing okay. They were a super cool person, and I loved their fic and I loved talking to them and I loved being their friend!! Even if they probably wont see this post, I just want them to know how much of an impact they had on me. It was because of them I made this account, and got into writing requests and fics. And even if that didn't work out, they got me back to writing in general! They were an awesome person and they deserve everything good in life!!

Augugh this got sentimental... My bad!! Ngl, I've been secretly waiting for someone to ask me why my blog was Macaque themed, but the chance of that happening was really slim so I held the Blog Lore™ in. BUT NOW I CAN FINALLY SAY WHAT IVE BEEN HOLDING IN FOR YEARS RAHHH

Thanks for asking this, btw 🍑 anon!! Sorry if this was so rambly and long, my mind do be like that (incomprehensible to decipher sometimes). I'd love to see you pop in some more, if youd like!!

Oh!! And since ur a Wukong lover as well, you should read their fic!! It's unfinished, but I think you should give it a shot. The chapters are long, the writing style and interactions between characters are great, and the development and pining is well done!!

I realize that this sounds biased, but ermm..... IDC GO READ THEIR FIC!!! (/nf) Kudos and comment bcs they deserve it!! Even if they dont get to see it, I'd like to at least cheer them up on the off chance that they do.

Here's the fic!! And their tumblr acc too, because they make some pretty banging drawings for their writing!!

@butternut-zippersqaush

[mandalhoerian]

Hey, I don't know if anyone's mentioned this to you before, but I just wanted to say making Vera's color scheme pink (with black) totally makes her super recognizable and iconic, you know? It's a genius character design choice to me because in all of Resident Evil, there's no other character that's "pink," so she really stands out in a fresh way. It's like you filled a gap we didn't even realize was there. Plus, she's got that whole tech vibe going on, which is so cool because she stands out from all the scientists and badass fighters dealing with bioterrorism. I just think she's awesome and the thought put into her design is top-notch! I miss her sm I hope you update soon <3

RAHHHHH ANON KICKING MY FEET GIGGLING THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ?????? I FEEL SO VALIDATED AHAHAHAH LIKE YES MY EFFORT HAS BEEN NOTICED BAAHAHAH

You didn't ask for this at all but I'm going to ramble ANYWAY. SO

I was extremely particular about making her "recognizable" as you say, like memorable. Because good god RE has so many good female characters who are so unique, and color-coded somehow, honest to god I was like "WHAT IS LEFT IN THIS UNIVERSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE A DISTINCTIVE OC WHAT AM I GONNA DO"

----- like, I had a friend who knows extremely early drafts of her, and embarrassingly she was a corrupt, snobby, scope-hungry journalist redhead who wore red and dressed like veronica lodge from riverdale 🙃🤐

and then she was korean for a while (this fell after i discovered ashiemochi's so-ah). and then turkish. and then the turkish journalist thing fell AS WELL because i discovered other journalist ocs on tumblr paired with leon and a turkish journalist on wattpad and i was like "oh my god fuck i am scrapping everything" (this idea later got recycled in moth to a flame)

first drafts are absolute hell, as you can see.

i actually dont remember how i got the pink idea. im also like. obsessed with color? i guess. i like to categorize so it's always fascinating when a character/thing is associated with a color/symbol/animal/ and owns it -- like, the girlies in RE -- they made Ashley orange-yellow, sheva purple (kinda? its not as prominent as the others), rebecca pistachio green, alex wesker white, ada cherry red, claire apple red and it just HITS, it could just be a me-thing though. It falls apart at one pointt I know, because how many characters can you color code hahahah (and they didnt even try with the men. they're shades of blue, all of them. or black. bo-ring. they went with the hair and body type for them while the girls got the colors kinda DDJSKDS) -- so take it with a grain of salt, it's just that I love color as a starting and developing point and I cant overgrow it 😭

but like. interestingly there was no pink pink character like you said — apart from moira burton that is who has it in like the hood of her jacket and bracelet and nowhere else, though she is a minor character? i guess in a zombie game franchise marketed to boys majorly in earlier years, they wouldn't really prefer pink LMAO so it was easier to bubblegum chainsaw an OC in since that was a deliberately left alone concept. I was like "mine now" and put a spin to it!!!!! I love that she's just black-pink. It's her whole thing. Such a satisfying thing to me to work with

I'm glad you think highly of this, the opportunity was ripe for the taking and I just went for it! Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with me!1!!!💕💕💕

EDIT: I FORGOT THE TECH THING YOU SAID IM SORRY. Yeah that was on purpose to further establish her to be her own thing as well. Too much "she's not like the other girls" vibes here AND ITS WORRYING but no she is just like the other girls and is proud of it. I just wanted to explore other occupations DJSDHSJSJKD Legit it started out as wanting to branch out and experimenting how I could incorporate it to RE's story!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN I WANT TO KISS YOU CONSENSUALLY ON THE FOREHEAD THIS ASK MADE MY DAY IM WORKING ON THE NEW CHAPTER CURRENTLY!! Hopefully it will be out this month, you know how long the chapters can get 😭

[mo0n-water]

hello hello, sorry that it’s been so long :( i’ve missed you.

i will hear the song if it’s the last thing i do 🥸 what’s it called? what’s the first lyric?

what book is it? why is it your favourite? summarise it in three words?

i hope you allow yourself to be a child sometimes. growing up so quickly must be tough.

nostalgia is my hamartia, i’m very stuck in the past, whether it is good or bad. also my great aunt has the most beautiful house, i’d love to live there when i’m older but it’ll probably go to the other side of the family. we can hope :)

i don’t really have any definitive life goals. i’m more of a live and let live kind of person, what’ll happen will happen and i shan’t waste time fretting about it. but i would like to own lots of cats when i’m older and have the village i live in suspect me of being a witch. i think that’d be fun.

i love people who talk a lot and are passionate about things they are interested in. there is nothing i enjoy more than listening to someone ramble on about a historical event i’ve never heard of or a movie i’ll never see. my best friend is very much a talkative person and i think that’s why we get on so well.

how many people can come to my party? i would probably invite: my two best friends, david bowie, regulus black, frida kahlo, oscar wilde, amy winehouse, boris pavlikovsky (from the goldfinch), my great great uncle who’s existance no one knew about until a few weeks ago (he had a very interesting life) and you :) i think we’d all have some very interesting conversations.

my favourite quote is ‘i don’t know. poets are always taking the weather so personally. they’re always sticking their emotions in things that have no emotions.’ from the catcher in the rye.

questions for you:

- what are you doing right now?

- are you religious?

- how do you define art?

- do you want to get married? would you marry a friend in a non-romantic way?

- what’s your favourite smell?

- what would you name this chapter of your life?

- are you a responsible person?

- what’s your favourite punctuation mark and why?

HAHA HI!!! i missed you too!! i was telling the jegulily server about how i missed you…… then again, idk who you are, so maybe you saw that. (mysterious music.) anyway i hope you’re well & i mean… didn’t you say you were going to see harry yesterday? so you MUST BE well

re: your song… it’s called counting hours. you’re not gonna find it online but maybe i’ll send it to you if/when you tell me who you are. (not holding it hostage, i just don’t wanna post it publicly hahaha!! first line is “spent the early hours of june reading quotes from whitman” i guess you don’t know what that has to do with you, but the rest of the song is… a little more obvious xx

the book is looking for alaska! i think i mentioned it before. i like how it explores grief and unanswerable questions, as well as how it talks about growing up. for three words, i don’t know, i’d maybe say “famous last words” :)

you definitely seem like the type of person one would mistake for a witch. and believe me, that is the highest of compliments coming from me. and about nostalgia, YEAH. yeah. G-d yeah. i feel like nostalgia rules my life sometimes, but i don’t really mind that? i was talking with my dad about that recently, about trying to recreate old memories & bring the past back. i think there’s something beautiful about that.

i like the live & let live philosophy. i think it makes for an interesting life. my favorite kinds of people are the ones who aren’t afraid to do something unexpected, to seek out new opportunities & go on adventures. a change of plans is my favorite thing. have you always been like that, or is your decision to embrace that a new thing? (i am ignoring your use of the word shan’t, lest i make a fool out of myself in my own tumblr post…)

listening to people ramble is a secret favorite of mine. i have a friend who’s really into films, & i love to get him ranting about his favorite plot lines & all that cinematography stuff that i don’t understand. i don’t even like movies! but i like listening to him talk about them. what’s something you like to ramble about like that?

i like your quote & i like your dinner party. i question how wise it is to invite boris, given he’d probably derail the whole thing… but i suppose that’s the whole point, and what makes it fun. consider this my rsvp! i think regulus, bowie, & boris would either be best friends or sexy rivals. can’t decide, but i’m here for it. also, your great great uncle?? i would love to hear the story there.

right now, i’m sitting on a porch swing & thinking about you. the temperature is perfect out here, humid enough to feel like a hug without descending into something more like a chokehold. i keep getting distracted & staring at the daylilies across the road. i was sitting in the living room before, but my parents were talking so i stepped out here to focus on writing this. after, i think i’ll play guitar for a bit – i was working on something earlier that i’d like to continue.

yes, i am religious! i’m a religious jew, which i think i’ve probably mentioned before because i honestly don’t shut up about it. it’s shabbat today, & i actually just got back from an event at synagogue. it was a pride event more than a religious thing, though – i convinced the rabbi to go out in drag, which was fucking brilliant honestly. anyway, judaism is easily one of the most important things to me. how about you? i always worry it’s rude to ask but i love talking about faith.

okay i had a conversation about defining art a few months ago & it just about broke my brain… genuinely it was in like january but i still don’t have an answer, no matter how much i think about it. i kinda think art is an arbitrary categorization we use to fit human expression into a box, but my opinion there could be changed with a strong wind. help????

i’d definitely like to get married someday, but it’s not a goal i’m working towards or anything… obviously, i think. i’d definitely marry a friend. it all comes down to whether it���s the right person. (if this is an offer, my answer is yes xx)

my favorite smell is rotting wood.

i’d name this chapter of my life “the wandering” because i feel like i’m looking for something, but i’m not sure what it is & i’m not in any rush. taking my time! it feels a lot like wandering.

responsible??? me???????? i suppose it depends on what you mean by responsible. in some regards, sure. in others, not at all. i don’t like the idea of responsibility, though, it feels stifling – i’d rather dedicate myself to things out of love than out of any sense of responsibility. not sure if that makes sense or answers your question.

i like semicolons!! as my best friend can surely tell you… i just feel like they conceptualize my ceaseless need for elaboration. i’m wary of overusing them. but yeah i learned how to use a semicolon in elementary school & i’ve been terrorizing people with them ever since.

as always, i love the questions you pick! some from me:

- what grounds you?

- what’s a feeling you find overwhelming? how do you cope?

- what’s your relationship with music? what does it mean to you, how do you interact with it?

- favorite fruit?

- tell me a secret?

hope to see you in my inbox soon!! kind regards <3